Yes, sex and erotism can often be experienced as unsolvable mysteries. There are aspects of our sex life, anatomy, desire, pleasure, orgasm (or lack thereof), which seem like paradoxes we just can’t wrap our minds around. Sometimes experience will be the one to provide the answers, sometimes it’s the right partner, but other times it’s the right THEORY.
Many people such as myself have found that the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response (DCM) which proposes that we all have a sexual “accelerator” and sexual “brakes” in our central nervous system , can be an amazing revelation, providing incredible insight into our own sexuality.
What do you mean by sexual “brakes” & “accelerators”?
The Dual Control Model describes “the central mechanism that governs sexual arousal, which controls how and when you respond to sexually relevant sights, sounds, sensations, and ideas.”
According to this model, arousal actually consists of two processes: activating the accelerator and deactivating the brakes. So, your level of sexual arousal depends on how much stimulation each one is getting and how sensitive they are. Here’s what you need to know about each of these systems:
The Accelerator or Sexual Excitation System (SES)
Receives info about sexually relevant stimuli in the environment (things you hear, see, touch, taste or smell) and sends signals from the brain to the genitals to “Turn on!”