Are you ready to try anal play?
(Or maybe you just want to be super prepared when the topic of anal comes up?)
Either way, here’s a list of things you can’t forget if you’re thinking of getting/giving some booty love.
Before we start:
Anyone - independent of sex, gender or sexual orientation- can practice and enjoy anal play, because everybody has an anus*. So, to make it as inclusive as possible we’ll use the gender neutral terms TOP and BOTTOM.
TOP: the one who is doing the stroking/licking/penetrating.
BOTTOM: the receptive partner.
*although anyone can enjoy anal, it certainly doesn’t mean everybody has to!
Most people associate anal sex with ‘penis into rectum’ which is really just one of many forms of anal contact (see Rimming, prostate massage, pegging, toys, basically A to Z). Thus, our preference for the broader term Anal Play.
There’s no Anal without Anus... So make sure you know the basics it’s important to know who you’re visiting before heading for the back door.
Anal intercourse without a condom.
[see Unprotected Anal Sex]
Barriers for Butthole Bliss
We’re of the idea that there’s no Butthole Bliss without Safer Sex Barriers. Being that the number one concern for people considering anal sex is “uneasiness about making a mess”, barriers can help both partners feel more relaxed about keeping things clean. Plus, using gloves and condoms allows fingers, penises or toys to slide in more smoothly. They also protect both partners from sexually transmitted infections [see Unprotected sex].
Gloves: they keep the hands clean and smooth over any rough areas (make sure you don’t use latex gloves with any oil-based lube because it may break them).
Dental dams: thin sheets of latex or nitrile that are used in some dental procedures. They can also be used as a form of protection for cunnilingus and analingus [see Rimming]. Dental dams are available at lots of sex-positive toy shops, but you can also make one out of a condom by unrolling it, snipping off the tip and then cutting down the side to form a rectangle. Another viable option is to use plastic wrap.
Be sure to use lots of lube on the outside of your condom, gloves and/or dental dams [see Lube].
A crucial component to pleasurable and pain-free anal play.
Quick communication tips:
→ Tops: reassure the bottom that it’s ok to ask for a break, more/less lube, genital stimulation, or for you to stop at anytime.
→ Stay connected: the top should constantly check in with the bottom about what feels good and what doesn’t, how fast or how deep to go.
→ The bottoms opinion ought to prevail [see “Your body, your rules”].
Explicit, informed verbal approval after negotiation,
a confident and secure “YES!”. It is the bedrock of sex and relationships.
Simultaneous penetration of the anus by two dicks (or two dildos - see Toys).
One dick/dildo in the vagina and another one in the rear end at the same time
(can also be two penises in the same vagina at the same time).
Prostate pleasure expert Charlie Glickman says it can be really helpful to play with your own ass before you play with someone else’s.
In preparation for anal, then, you might want to try *carefully* inserting your finger up your bum while in the shower (thus teaching your anal sphincters to relax).
Other ways of exploring: try masturbating with an anal toy [see Toys] or ask a partner to lube up a clean finger and gently insert, pushing very softly and slowly.
The injection of liquid into the rectum and colon by way of the anus.
[a.k.a. Anal douching]
If you have a good diet, regular bowel movements and take a shower before play, there shouldn’t be poop in your rectum. However, some people like to have an enema before butt sex as it makes them feel more comfortable and confident. We say, whatever works best for you is fine, just look into enema safety before giving yourself one.
For example you can look at this video on How To Anal Douche Properly!